Last Saturday night I happened to be at a club. Long time I didn’t have a night out like that.
I’m not the party-animal type (in fact,I’m quite the opposite), and I know exactly how it feels to be an introverted (and a little bit shy) person hanging out in this kind of environment.
But, let me tell you. It’s ok. And it’s not. For a few reasons I’m going to explain.
We live in a world built for extroverted. Not kidding. If you’re an extroverted, maybe you’ve never thought about this too much; but if you’re an introverted, you know that in your whole life you’re forced to think your character is somehow inherently wrong. That you must be more extroverted, you must like being in an environment full of people, and if you don’t do that, you’re asocial or you have some kind of problem.
We introverted always feel, at some point in our lives, that something’s wrong with us. We think we should like going to big events and socialize, and most of us really do like that, but then we always feel drained and tired; at a certain point, we feel we have to stop, and retreat.
That’s how an introverted mind works: introverted aren’t asocials; many of us are quite the opposite. But our brain is overstimulated by big groups of people, noise and crowds: we feel that our energy is fading, so we prefer having some time alone. When introverts spend some time alone or with a very few close people, doing quieter activities, they regain strenght and energy. That’s how our mind works.
Extroverted, instead, gain energy by being surrounded by large groups, like parties, for example.
That doesn’t mean extroverted are better human beings than introverted, nor the opposite, but bear in mind that being extroverted is more socially accepted. Extroverts are seen as “better”, because they socialize more, they’re always hanging outside and are comfortable in big crowds. And that’s the big mistake our society’s doing: we need both introverted and extroverted in order to keep the world going.
But let’s get back to the main topic: a quite shy (cause it’s part of my personality,too) and introverted girl, aka me, is going to a party. That means large groups of people, noise, crowded environment, lots of interactions with different people. The introvert’s most feared place, right?
I confess, after a couple hours I really felt like my energy was drained by all that stuff. I really wanted to go away. And it’s completely ok.
On the other hand, even if I prefer staying at home and reading a book or watching my favourite tv show, going out and meet people isn’t a bad idea at all. I just need to know when it’s time for me to take a break, to go away for a while and regain my strenght. And that’s nothing wrong with that. There’s really nothing wrong with being outside with people and then retreating for a little bit. No one must force me to go against my character.
What I’m saying is that we must acknowledge that introverts need some time alone and this doesn’t mean being anti-social or hating people; on the other hand, introverts themself should have the courage to spend a little more time outside and meet new people, as well as accept the fact that, at some point, they will feel the need to reatreat and simply do it. Explain to your friends (if they are extroverts) that it’s part of your nature and this doesn’t mean you’re not enjoying yourself or you’re being anti-social.
I think that even an introverted like me can enjoy a party and meet a lot of nice people, and, at the same time, fulfill my need to have some time alone. For the sake of my social life, at least 😉
Always be yourself, not matter what.
The awkward geeky girl